The parent trap. . . .

When I had Cam, I was 23 and pretty scared, I got swept up in all craziness faced by new parents, naively buying into what all the magazines, books and advertisements told me I "needed" to have a happy baby, or that would make me a better mother.
I believed what every mum I met told me and tried to mesh their conflicted opinions into my perfect parent plan.
I ended up spending a fortune and didn't even use a lot of what I had acquired, or even want most of it.
I also had a hard time bonding with my little boy, and fell into a depression that lasted a long time and went undiagnosed and untreated.

If only I could go back and tell myself how it really is *sigh*

 The first of many shared birthdays

We put ourselves under such pressure to fit into what we perceive as the socially acceptable way to parent.
We're told that we need the biggest, shiniest pram with Nasa specifictaions that costs as much as a second-hand car.
We're told that we need the nappies with the best technology and chemical cocktail to keep our baby "dry" through the night.
We're told to let our babies cry and learn to comfort themselves, to not seek attention or allow them to be be dependant on you through the night.

Well let me tell you a secret that I wish someone had told me . . . . it's a load of rubbish - the best thing you can do is go with your gut.

When I had Rosie I realised I wasn't happy with the way I had done things first time round.
I let go of all the impossible expectations, ignored everyone else and followed my instincts - that was the key - trusting in myself, to know I knew instinctually what was best for me and my baby.

As a result I was so much more relaxed that things went smoothly from the day she arrived.
I had refused all but gas and air through labour and that lest us both alert following the birth.
Within minutes we were snuggled up as she latched on and fed from me.  It was one of the most magical moments of my life.
I left the hospital 5 hours later, made up a picnic and we celebrated her arrival as well as the fact she came just in time to share her brother's 3rd birthday.

 Me and the kids making birthday picnic treats

I had already ditched the people carrier sized pram I had and instead switched it for a Moby Wrap .
I carried her constantly, even in the house, I was still able to do everything and we were both happy to be close to each other.  I had no problems getting on the bus like when I had a pram.
I kept her in bed with me at night, at the first sign of her stirring I would move so she could feed, I didn't go through any of the sleeplessness that a lot of new parents find so very difficult, I actually felt better than ever before.
There were there were other things I tried and used which I'm sure you'll hear more about like cloth nappies and reusable wipes, homemade babyfood and toys.

But if I could go back and tell myself anything it would be not to fall into the parent trap. 
You know yourself and your child better than anyone, trust your instincts and they will steer you right where you need to be.